How the Founder’s Fallacy Fuels Anxiety (And What You Can Do About It)

If you’re a founder, you’ve probably felt it—the overwhelming need to control every detail of your business. It’s something I call the Founder’s Fallacy—the belief that as the founder, you must manage everything and make every decision to ensure success. It’s an exhausting mindset, and for many of us, it also fuels anxiety.

As someone who has battled anxiety for much of my life, I know firsthand how the need for control can make things worse. It’s a vicious cycle: the more I try to control, the more anxious I feel, and the more anxious I feel, the more I try to control. For founders, this pressure can be relentless.

But over the years, I’ve learned a few things about how to break free from that cycle—or at least how to manage it. And while I’m still figuring it out every day, I hope sharing my experience can help other founders who are struggling with the same challenges.

The Turning Point: My Wake-Up Call

Let me take you back to when I was 35, trying to get my startup, Chequed.com, off the ground. We had a chance to complete a small acquisition that could accelerate our growth, and I was determined to control every piece of it. I thought if I wasn’t involved in every decision, something would go wrong.

Then I ended up in the hospital, convinced I was having a heart attack. Lying there, I thought, “This is it. I’m dying.” It turns out it wasn’t a heart attack—it was stress. The need to control everything had pushed me to the brink, and that day was a huge wake-up call.

But here’s the thing: I’m still learning. Even now, years later, I struggle with the same need to control, and it still triggers my anxiety. That’s why I call it the Founder’s Fallacy—it’s something many of us fall into, and breaking free is a daily effort.

How the Need for Control Exacerbates Anxiety

The Founder’s Fallacy is driven by the idea that we, as founders, need to control everything. And when that’s paired with anxiety, it becomes a dangerous mix. For me, the more I felt the need to manage every detail, the more anxious I became. And the more anxious I became, the harder I tried to control everything. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break.

The reality is that control doesn’t eliminate anxiety—it amplifies it. When you’re trying to oversee every decision, you’re constantly under pressure, constantly worried about what might go wrong. And as your company grows, it becomes impossible to keep up, leading to even more stress.

Letting Go of Control (Even When It’s Hard)

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned—and I’m still learning—is that leadership isn’t about controlling everything. It’s about knowing when to step back and let your team take over. That sounds great in theory, but in practice, it’s tough—especially when anxiety is part of the equation.

There have been countless times when I’ve had to force myself to step back and let my team make decisions. And every time I did, I realized something: they often made better choices than I would have. By letting go, I not only reduced my own stress, but I also empowered my team to thrive.

It’s not easy. Even now, I still find myself wanting to jump in and “fix” things. But I’m learning that stepping back gives me the space I need to manage my anxiety and be a better leader.

Creating Space for Clarity

One of the tools that has helped me manage both leadership and anxiety is creating space—physically, mentally, and emotionally. For years, I’ve made it a point to take quarterly retreats, where I get away from the office to reflect and reset. These retreats aren’t just about stepping back from work—they’re about creating space for clarity.

When I take time to unplug, I’m able to think more clearly. I can see the bigger picture and make decisions from a place of calm rather than anxiety. It’s a practice that has made a huge difference in how I lead and how I manage stress.

If you’re a founder dealing with anxiety, I highly recommend finding ways to create space—whether it’s through regular retreats, daily reflection, or simply taking a few minutes to step away from the noise.

Delegation: The Ultimate Anxiety Buster

One of the hardest things for me as a founder has been delegation. It’s tough to let go of control, especially when you’re used to doing everything yourself. But I’ve come to realize that delegation is not just a leadership skill—it’s also a way to manage anxiety.

When you delegate, you lighten the load. You stop trying to control every detail and instead, trust your team to handle things. For me, this has been a game-changer. It doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle with letting go, but each time I delegate, I’m reminded that my team is more than capable. And every time I delegate, my anxiety eases just a little bit.

The Ongoing Battle

As much as I’d like to say I’ve overcome my anxiety, the truth is I haven’t. It’s something I live with every day. But by letting go of control, creating space for clarity, and trusting my team, I’ve learned to manage it in healthier ways.

Leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about learning, adapting, and taking care of yourself along the way. For those of us who struggle with anxiety, letting go of control is a key part of that journey. And while it’s not easy, it’s worth it.

Breaking Free from the Founder’s Fallacy

The need for control is something many founders struggle with, and for those of us who deal with anxiety, it can be a constant source of stress. But the good news is that you don’t have to manage everything yourself. By learning to step back, trust your team, and create space for clarity, you can not only become a better leader but also take care of your mental health.

I’m still on this journey, still learning every day. But if my experience can help even one founder break free from the Founder’s Fallacy, then I’m doing something right.